Family Choices

Jointly written by #anonyousbjorn and #anonymous-sarah

In a recent article at Vox, Ezra Klein looked at a viral video about the job of being a mother and how the United States stacks up to the world in relation to paid time off when having a baby. The article started with the viral video from cardstock.com that for everyone who has children watched and nodded knowingly and for those who do not have children, did not see. Beyond the cute introduction the bulk of the article went into the very real policies that the US has when it comes to having babies and working.

When a family has a child, when comparing to other countries around the world, the US does not have mandated paid leave for mothers, no mandated paid leave for fathers, no mandated paid vacation days, and no mandated paid sick time off. Bleak. The article does not address the fact that many companies do offer benefits that include paid leave for mothers, paid leave for fathers, paid vacation days, and paid sick time off.

The video addressed in the Vox article is a bit troubling in that it attempts to provoke by comparing the role of parenting to that of a paid position. Parenting is no more a job than the role of wife, husband, partner, daughter, brother, et cetera. It is a relationship that carries profound responsibilities, but it does not easily compare with labor for which compensation should be expected, and all of the policies meant to keep employment fair (number of hours worked, proscribed rest periods, minimum acceptable working conditions). People don’t have children to foster a self-employment opportunity and if they don’t know initially that having a child is time and resource intensive, they are set straight pretty fast.

Klein, from the Vox article, perpetuates the “job” terminology when she draws our attention to the fact that many (most!) mothers are income earners in some capacity, and in 40 percent of households are the primary income earners. The title of the article asks “Why do we treat mothers this way” in reference to the lack of policy and paid leave support in the U.S. in comparison to the rest of the developed world. If we decide we want better parental leave policies, we need to broaden the conversation to the positive impact that more comprehensive leave policies would have on the household (dads, partners, other kids,the household economy).

Not noted in the article is the fact that in many of the countries topping the list with the most favorable leave policies instituted these policies to encourage population growth. In countries such as Japan, Denmark, and others the pressures to counteract population decline makes generous family leave policies a relatively easy one. But the U.S. still is not in a period of population decline and no easily identifiable broad economic incentive exists that would lead us in that direction.

In the meantime, while policies are debated and nothing changes in the U.S., working while having a family for women and men comes down to family choices. Do both parents work? How are household chores divided? If one is going to be employed less than full-time who should it be? What types of financial sacrifices can be made?

These questions can only be answered by the parents and whatever policies exists, let it be the government's or a company’s policy can make answering these questions easier or harder.