Elite Family Planning

In my previous article about a concerned Princeton mom, Anything but Egalitarian, I commented on the message this mother was communicating to her her sons and Princeton women. Her short letter to the Daily Princetonian gained a great deal of media attention so it seems logical in today’s media environment she was approached to write a book about her views on life and the such (I am sure her life story will make for an interesting book).

As previously stated, I support individuals no matter what they choose when it comes to family and career (minus being addicted to heroin and/or being self-destructive). If you want a family, great; If you want to be single and dedicate your life to your job, go for it! I do have a problem when people force their own beliefs on others and are judgmental or even aggressive/demeaning when others do not conform. And this is where the comments section of a recent article about this book deal naturally went; smart people telling others how they should live their lives.

Below are my favorites:

     “I don't entirely disagree with her, except on the not-so-small point that you don't need a 

     husband to have babies.”

Funny because of all the things this commentator could have focused on, this was it. For me, I might have agreed with this statement before I had my own child, but now that I have a son, raising a child solo would be extremely difficult. It is true you do not need a man to have a baby but I suggest having a partner (non-gender specific) and a village to help in loving and raising the child.

     “Females seem to peek in maturity at about 13 years old, continuing the ‘ME, ME, ME!’ 

     approach to life from then on.”

Not much to say besides I wonder why this person even posted this comment. This dude obviously does not have any faith in the abilities of women and is repeating the old adage of the ‘me’ obsessed generation (was that the silent generation, the baby boomers, or generation x, y, or z?).

     “There's nothing wrong with taking care of cats and today's single women do very little

     spinning. I don't see things the way Ms. Patton does, but the "uproar" in response to a 

     simple expression of currently unorthodox views tells us a good deal about the demand for 

     conformity to the tribal creed at Princeton.”

I think this writer is a bit defensive of her cats. Even though she has embraced being a ‘spinster’ her response says otherwise. In addition, she assumes that current American culture is contrary to the Princeton mom’s views, but is it? Saying a stance is unorthodox is hard to back-up. I really like the comment on conformity in the Princeton tribe; this commentator should expand on this point and drop the other.

     “Mrs. Patton is of another generation. The culture that existed in her college years is light 

     years away from the culture that exists today.”

I have to disagree. What culture is this person talking about; the culture of graduate education or the culture that actually exists? Be weary of such grand statements when they cannot be backed-up with reality.

     “These views are only 'unorthodox' to those on the left. For the rest of us, they're called 

     common sense.”

Ah yes; everything is political to some. This comment was a reaction to one of the previous comments and I do not believe this Princeton mom’s views are unorthodox, they might be a bit conservative or overly practical but they communicate her views on family. Although I consider myself center-left, I do not view her views as unorthodox but then again I not view everything as political either.

At the end of the day this Princeton mom is going to write a book and I wish her all the luck in the world. The truth about this article, the book deal, and the media attention (including my articles) is that if this mom and article were not connected to Princeton with its $16 billion dollar endowment no one would care. Would anyone have noticed this same article at Rutgers or Seton Hall? No.

To recap; if you want to start a family and find your mate in college, good luck. If you want to work and oversee a clowder of cats, enjoy. But if you encounter someone who lives a life that is different than yours, celebrate the diversity of human existence and the plurality of personal choice. 

Oh, and don’t be judgmental.