...Advantage

So...I am not sure how to write about this. Generally I avoid race in my writing but I have read so many articles about white privilege that it is hard to ignore. So here I go.

Disclosure: I am white and male.

With that out of the way let’s talk about what I call educational advantage. I wanted to write about educational advantage after reading The Atlantic article, Checking Privilege Checking by Phoebe Bovy about a Princeton freshman. Dr. Bovy’s article has many excellent points and so does the article by the Princeton freshman at the Princeton Tory. After reading both articles and the New York Times article I was struck by one simple fact: we don’t know what that freshman is truly like besides his article and word of mouth. From the three articles it seems like the whole reason there is controversy is because this freshman is (1) at Princeton and (2) an unapologetic conservative.

In my life I don’t care if you are liberal, moderate, conservative, rightist, leftist, Tea Party, Green, a modern Commie, a Free Capitalist, or whatever, all I care about is what you bring to the table and if you can have an open and constructive dialogue. In the article at the Princeton Tory the Princeton freshman states he has been told several times to ‘check his privilege’ and his article is his response to this. In the article his family’s narrative is amazing and heartbreaking, and I applaud him for his accomplishments; I don’t think anyone faults him for making it to Princeton and what he has done to this point in his life.

It seems to me that most of the controversy comes not from the article but with the Princeton freshman himself and the fact that he seems to be an unapologetic conservative. Again, I don’t know that he is a conservative, I don’t care if he does not support the President but from my read of the situation it seems that he might be an argumentative person and if he is and if he brings politics into everything he does then it makes sense that he has been asked to ‘check his privilege’ by some people at Princeton. I am not saying it is right, I am not defending those who have tried to ‘check’ him but when presented with someone who bloviates without the ability to have a constructive dialogue some respond in-kind.

If this article would have appeared at Rutgers or Seton Hall we would not be talking about it but because it appeared at Princeton everyone is talking about it. With my discussion of the Princeton freshman out of the way I am going to talk about what I am calling educational advantage.

I am sure there is a proper higher education and sociological term for educational advantage but I am not familiar with it. I am not going to use the term white privilege because as Dr. Bovy said, “‘Privilege’  isn't merely unearned advantage—it implies entitlement… advantage about which one is unaware.” Excellent definition and not applicable to what I am going to discuss moving forward.

To start off I will discuss my educational advantage. First; since educational advantage is often about money my father was enlisted in the Army and my mother was a nurse. They worked hard and provided a great deal for me and my brother. Is this an advantage? Well, my parents were together which is an advantage compared to some. Were we rich? No; not an advantage when discussing white privilege. Were we middle-class? Yes; an advantage when holistically discussing higher education (it is an advantage to be in the middle).

My biggest advantage, in my opinion, is the fact that I have been largely anonymous most of my life. As a teenager and young adult  I could go anywhere and people would barely notice me. Even today when I drive my silver midsize family sedan, wear business casual, and have the same haircut as my son; people barely notice me.

How is this an advantage? Well, it has allowed me to live my life without having to worry about my personal safety. Does every 16 or 20 year old black or hispanic male go through the same experience of being anonymous? Yes and unfortunately no. So my biggest advantage has been that no one really notices me yet this has allowed my body of work, my accomplishments, and my character to be what people judge me on. As stated in the New York Time article by a different Princeton freshman, “He [the original Princeton freshman] doesn’t know what it feels like to be judged by his race...I don’t think I’ve met an African-American who believes that they are judged solely by their character.”

So where do we go from here? When talking to someone, anyone, you should do the following: (1) look them in the eyes; (2) listen to their narrative; (3) do not dismiss their personal experiences; (4) acknowledge their accomplishments; (5) accept them for the person they are and what they have gone through; and (6) only judge them on their character.

Da Capo. It seems like in the story of the Princeton freshman and the people he was ‘checked’ by did not follow the six points above (these points are not comprehensive). You should only give constructive criticism to people you know or to friends you have build rapport with. You should never ‘check’ anyone you just met and you do not get any college awesomeness points for ‘checking’ an unapologetic conservative (or liberal) you barely know.

With that said, I know college kids like to argue, after all they have figured out the world by age 20 and often feel like they have accomplished something when they have the opportunity to defend their ‘core’ beliefs but at the end of the day what does this type of arguing accomplish?

You can only influence people by getting to know them, building trust, and having an open and honest dialogue with them. Change only occurs when two people sit down, start talking, share a cup of coffee, and start understanding each other.