I have been thinking a lot about ideas and civility recently. There have been so many articles, editorials, blog posts, et cetera about civility in higher education that it is hard to know where to start. My view of civility became a little clearer after I read the article Ideas Matter More Than Outfits, Right? by Allison M. Vaillancourt.
I will start with my own concept of civility. First, the word is loaded; it means something different to everyone, it is defined as politeness in formal conversation, and at the end of the day, I do not like the word. Second, I would describe myself as naturally cautious and nice. I do not view this as a negative because in my personal life I have always been the peacemaker. Third, I do not think having debates in higher education that are friendly, silence academic freedom. Finally, I think a lot of problems can be solved by being nice, listening to the person next to you, and trying to find a solution.
As I said before, my view of civility became a little clearer after reading Dr. Vaillancourt’s article at Vitae. Dr. Vaillancourt’s article covers more than just civility and goes over leadership, career advancement, individual presence, gender, perception, and communication. The article also discusses the books Executive Presence by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Don’t be Such a Scientist by Randy Olson; books I am not familiar with but because of the article I am excited to read.
Below are my favorite quotes from Dr. Vaillancourt’s article (I will get back to civility in just a little while).
“Life is unfair and competence will get you only so far. To be taken seriously and to move ahead, you need a special combination of gravitas, communication, and style.”
I agree, per the book Executive Presence life is unfair. You only have to watch the news and read articles about what goes on in the world to know that people do not treat each other kindly. I also agree that competence will only get you so far. In my past life as a musician you were only as good as your last gig and if you could not deliver you did not get the job. In the non-music world there is more to moving ahead than just competence, there is as Dr. Vaillancourt said, “gravitas, communication, and style.”
Three of the most difficult concepts to develop as someone who want to move ahead are having a natural sense of gravitas, being able to clearly communicate with others, and to have a style that is individual and not fake. Some people come into their own at an early age, in their twenties while others take longer, well into their thirties, forties, or even fifties to truly acquire “gravitas, communication, and style.”
My next favorite quote is interesting and continues with the ideas of “gravitas, communication, and style.”
“Claim your space. Lower the register of your voice. Look people in the eye. Check your posture. Use the power of silence. Don’t end declarative sentences with what sounds like a question mark. Demonstrate passion. Speak well of others. Admit your failings. Appear calm and in control…In short: Whenever possible, be male, white, and tall.”
I love this quote except the last bit. I can not imagine that Executive Presence suggests that “whenever possible, be male, white, and tall.” With that said I do understand there are cultural perceptions for those who desire to have an executive presence but I have known many a wonderful leader who is not male, is not white, and is not tall. It all depends on the individual and luckily today cultural norms and expectations are changing.
“Some would argue that really smart or even brilliant people don’t need to be polite or gracious. They don’t have to be able to read a room, or engage in small talk. But that argument fails to take into account the value and power of social skills to move ideas and agendas forward.”
When I was young I truly believed in the first part of this quote. Why do you need “gravitas, communication, and style” when content and ability is all that matters? And this is where civility comes back; if you do not know how to communicate with others, sell yourself and your ideas, and work well with others then how are you going to get any work done?
In some parts of higher education people do not have to work with others and everything they do is solitary but for the vast majority of people, we all have to work on teams, work together, and find solutions. Also, if “brilliant people don’t need to be polite or gracious” than those brilliant people are putting the burden on others to put up with them and understand their vision. Wouldn’t you rather work with the people you want to execute your vision rather than just expecting them to understand and get behind your ‘genius’?
So what is the conclusion? Two different concepts that are related; to move forward in one’s career you need an individualized sense of “gravitas, communication, and style,” and you should be nice (whatever that means to you).
Too simple? Maybe, but not everything in this world is complex.
