Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

I love this book. The first time I read it was a year ago when I was reading it to my son and I was amazed; what wonderful advice for young and old alike. The colors are bright, the words delightful, and the message is realistic yet optimistic. Instantly I wanted to write an article about it but with the business of life and the birth of my second son, I kept pushing it back.

Then I ran across a HuffPost article about an adult’s perspective of this classic Seuss book. The message of this brief HuffPost article is really about stress while the message of the adult version of Oh, the Places You’ll Go! seems to be that work will kill you and there is little personal fulfillment in life...yikes!

First, stress can be costly and being dramatic, kill you. Managing your stress at work is a difficult endeavor and relies on many different factors; your ability to handle stress, the culture of your place of work, your boss, the direction of your company/institution, you personal situation, et cetera. Stress is a balancing act that requires you as an adult to: 1) recognize stress and 2) take some course of action to remediate it.

One of the best quotes from the HuffPost article states, "the truth is, taking space from the workplace is actually beneficial for our health because it helps our brains unwind...planning a vacation may increase our happiness levels."

As someone who supervises others I 100% agree. Work should not be overly stressful unless you are saving people’s lives, transporting liquid fuel or explosives, counseling people who need help, are in a war zone, or work as a cop (these professions force you to deal with stress or else...). For everyone else we need to figure out how to dial down the stress, care about what we have influence over, and have positive work relationships with the people around us.

Is this easy? Not always. But when you take vacations it helps you recharge, see the world, share precious time with family and friends, and helps you be focused and motivated when you return to work. Does work pile-up when you are gone, maybe, but that is what teams are for; we all work together for the betterment of all.   

The other notable quote from the article states that the adult version of Oh, the Places You’ll Go! “paints a different picture of adulthood than Seuss' rainbow-colored paths leading the way to goals and dreams. Think more work, less, well, anything else.”

Of the vignettes in the Seuss version of Oh, the Places You’ll Go! roughly 40% of them are realistic. They describe how sometimes you will not come in first place, you’ll get bangged-up, you’ll be in a slump, the streets will be unmarked and scary, you’ll inhabit the ‘Waiting Place’, there are games you cannot win, you’ll be alone, there are enemies on the prowl, and there are many distracting strange birds around. Although the book is delightfully rainbow-colored, I feel that it is realistic yet optimistic in a very healthy way.

Runonsentence, the anonymous person who posted the adult version of the classic Seuss story by the end states “your life is pretty much set out for you in every single way! So enjoy your brief periods of personal fulfillment! Being an adult starts today!”

Sad but I get it. When I was younger I looked at life much the same way; you live, you work, you might have some kids (or not), and you die. This outlook was terribly bleak and the weight of the world was on my shoulders until I was able to refocus how I lived, loved, and worked.

You have to find personal fulfillment in life by having hobbies, positive relationships, and healthy habits. Work for some is amazing and we average people are often voyeurs to those few fantastic and dynamic lives on Instagram that travel the world, have perfect bodies, are constantly smiling, and write books, travel blogs, or take pictures for a living. But these are the lives of others; we need not envy or feel bad about ourselves because of them.

Our lives and our work can be fulfilling if you have the right attitude and the right job. There are 1,000 self-help books out there about having a positive attitude because when you work in a cube, or something equivalent, it is up to you to be happy. If the person next to you is annoying only you can only control how you react. If others are stressing out because of a tight deadline you can only focus on your portion of the project and help the team collaborate. If you have had the same job for a while it is up to you, and hopefully with some help from your boss, to develop your skills professionally.

Then there is having the right job. Not all jobs are amazing but there are many jobs that allow for a decent, honest living. And then there are some jobs that are toxic and no matter how positive you try to be will be a challenge. Everyone has to find a job that works with their personality, their skills, their stage in life, and their ability to deal with stress.

Oh, the Places You’ll Go! is brilliant. It is a guide book for life that uses rainbow-colored pictures and cute verse to show that everyone struggles, yet is optimistic and shows that things will be okay and everything will work out.

Song/Week: 3 Simple Minuets by Bjorn Mercer

I was trying to figure out what to call this piece and I went back and forth between attempting something clever and something straightforward. In the end I decided to call it what the movements are; three short, simple minuets.

For those who are not familiar with minuets, the minuet is a European dance form in ¾ that eventually led to the scherzo and the waltz. During the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, pretty much everyone wrote minuets in one form or the other with countless contemporary composers looking into the past for musical inspiration.

As I was describing these pieces to one of my colleagues the other day, she asked me what my inspiration for these three movements were. Unlike A Light in the Attic that was directly inspired by the poems of Shel Silverstein, 3 Simple Minuets was inspired by my #trueheartsduet, my wife and partner. Although these pieces are not swelling with passion like Mahler or sublimely beautiful like art songs by Faure they are inspired by the woman who holds my heart, takes care of my children, who makes me laugh harder than anyone else, and is the one I hold as I fall asleep.

I would like to thank Paul Nersesian for letting me borrow his Godin; it is a great instrument and fun to play.

Part One: How to Win Friends and Influence People

In my previous post I included all of my favorite quotes from part one of How to Win Friends and Influence People. The quotes I chose were either particularly wise bits of advice by Dale Carnegie or excellent quotes from great leaders and everyday people.

The advice that Carnegie shares in part one, chapters one through three, is probably the best advice I have ever read in relation to dealing with people. His advice is sound, brief, and to the point. The first three chapters are boiled down into three principles:

• Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain;

• Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation;
• Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.  

I could stop the article right here after reading these principles but it is not that easy. To be able to interact with people, and especially when you are their supervisor is challenging. One word, one turn of phrase, one misstep can destroy a person who looks to you for leadership and direction. To live these principles it takes constant focus, careful choice of words, and an honest interest in others to truly be effective.

Principle One

When people skim over Principle one they downplay it as simplistic and childish. Real people, smart people who are worldly and educated are critical and hard hitting. I agree that when presented with facts that need bold action one must be critical and hard hitting, but it is all how you do it.

Will you tear someone down for doing an honest day’s work by criticizing their work, condemning their product, and complaining about the outcome? Or will you will acknowledge the countless hours of grueling work they have done and collaborate with them to improve and move forward?

Principle Two

Principle two seems easy; appreciate the people around you. What makes this complicated? We do. As humans, we are sometimes controlled by our emotions and at times we are inconsistent. From one day to the next we might present a different face to the people we work with and this inconsistency affects them.

Why would you appreciate someone who is moody and inconsistent? Why would you appreciate someone who is constantly opposing your work and denying your proposals?

You give appreciation to the people around you because we all desire and crave appreciation. We want our and successes to be acknowledged and we want our hard work to be complimented. As a supervisor it is better to communicate with a smile, and give honest and sincere appreciation, than communicate with a frown and be apathetic to the person in front of you.

Principle Three

Finally Principle three, the most difficult. When working with people, especially when you are their supervisor, how do you arouse an eager want? How do you get them want to do what you want them to do?

Well, you can say, “do your job.” True, we all have to do our jobs and perform the tasks assigned but that is not leading, that is not motivating, that is not creating any lasting loyalty or dedication. The best way to ‘get’ people to do their jobs is to look them in the eyes and say ‘thank you for doing a great job.’

By talking to people, by looking them in the eyes, and by listening to the words they say you lay a foundation of trust and through that trust you will get an eager want.

Now that I have gone over part one of How to Win Friends and Influence People I will restate the question I posed from my Forward: If this book is so simple, why doesn’t everyone follow its principles?